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Chelsea V West Ham, Tottenham V Fulham: Clockwatch – Live!

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Goal! Brentford 1-0 Leeds (Toney pen)No mistake from penalty expert Toney, who sends the keeper the wrong way to make it 18/18 from the spot and put his side ahead.

Penalty at Brentford! Luis Sinisterra puts in an ominous tackle on Ivan Toney and, after the referee trots over to have a look at the pitchside screen, the home side get a spot kick.

Penalty-fluffer Joel Piroe wastes no time in making amends, picking out the bottom corner to put Swansea ahead.

Ray Lewis writes in: “22 minutes into six games without a goal after nil-nil in the opener is 222 (plus 98 in the derby). I wonder what the record is for the latest first goal in a PL matchweek…”

Maxime Colin’s point-blank header gives Birmingham the lead against Preston, who somewhat ludicrously concede their first goal of the season (footnote: they’ve only scored two). Joel Piroe fluffs a penalty for Swansea against QPR

Simon McMahon writes in: “Afternoon Alex. Game of the day in Scotland is undoubtedly at Fir Park where Dundee United face Motherwell. A rejuvenated United, whose pub team start to the season finally led to the dismissal of manager Jack Ross on Tuesday after just seven games, will be looking to make it two wins in a row and are unchanged from the team that beat Livingston in the League Cup on Wednesday. Elsewhere it’s Ross County v Aberdeen, Hibs v Kilmarnock, Livingston v Hearts and St. Johnstone v St. Mirren”

Big miss! Alexander Isak charges clear at St James’s and, with all the time in the world to think through the finish, he opts for an impudent dink. Vicente Guaita isn’t fooled, and gathers gratefully. Oh dear.

A typically efficient Teemu Pukki finish has given Norwich an early lead against Coventry and put his team top of the table. The only other goal in the Championship is Richard Wood’s for Rotherham against Watford. In League One, Bolton and Charlton are already one apiece, Shrewsbury lead at Forest Green, Morecambe lead at Bristol Rovers and Peterborough lead at Portsmouth. Northampton, Salford and Stockport are all ahead in League Two.

Goal at Spurs! Son puts the hosts 1-0 ahead.

No goal at Spurs! It’s disallowed for an offside against Kane.

First bit of action in north London as Harry Kane fires off an early sighter which Bernd Leno repels. Likewise Wilfried Zaha/Nick Pope at St James’s Park.

Kári Tulinius writes in: “I’m keeping a wistful eye on Saša Kalajdžić’s debut for Wolves, as my club – and his former – Stuttgart chase their first win of the season against Schalke. He always caused problems for the opposition and I’m sure Wolves fans will grow to like him as much as I did.”

Colin Hendry’s son has just put Salford City ahead against Crawley, which is as good an excuse as any to watch this:

And here’s your report from a frenzied lunchtime game at Goodison:

In the Championship, Norwich can go top for the first time this season with a win over rock-bottom Coventry. To that end, Dean Smith brings Todd Cantwell and Teemu Pukki into his XI.

North of the border, Celtic have walloped Rangers in the season’s first Old Firm derby. Ouch:

The whistle has gone at Goodison Park and the Merseyside derby somehow ends goalless thanks to both keepers and the woodwork going above and beyond the call of duty. It was a good game, with play racing from end to end during a high-intensity second half, and Liverpool with be the more frustrated side having knocked hard on the door and forced Jordan Pickford into a string of second-half saves. It could have been worse – they were spared a Conor Coady winner by VAR – but their stuttering start to the season continues. Report to follow soon.

Jordan Pickford drinks it in. Photograph: Phil Noble/ReutersSo then. Some eyebrows may be fairly raised at Thomas Tuchel’s XI, which sees Conor Gallagher and Ruben Loftus-Cheek picked over Jorginho and Mason Mount. Christian Pulisic also gets the nod over Kai Havertz, with Wesley Fofana handed his debut. West Ham lnine up bullishly with Lucas Paqueta given his first start alongside Pablo Fornals, Jarrod Bowen and Michael Antonio.

Patrick Vieira has also picked four recognised attackers for the trip to Newcastle, whose silky new striker Alexander Isak keeps his place up top. Jesse Lingard returns to the Forest side for the visit of Bournemouth, who were happy enough with the midweek stalemate against Wolves to resist making any changes.

Bruno Lage wastes no time in introducing Sasa Kalajdzic: perfectly understandable given that Kalajdzic is a striker who has been known to occasional find the net. And Richarlison gets his first start for Spurs, which means Antonio Conte deploys the Kane-Son-Richalison triumvirate for the first time. Will Fulham pay the price – or might their own goalscoring hot-head steal the show?

Wolves v Southampton team newsSpurs v Fulham team newsNottingham Forest v Bournemouth team newsNewcastle v Crystal Palace team newsChelsea v West Ham team newsBrentford v Leeds team newsAnd here’s your bitesize game-by-game preview:

That noise you can hear in the distance is the crowd at Goodison Park, where the Merseyside derby teeters on a knife edge. Follow that one here:

PreambleAfter the dreaming comes cold, hard reality. The summer transfer window saw Premier League clubs spend more than they have in any other full season – and each exotic signing will have sparked a thousand feverish imaginations. Now it’s time to see how they measure up.

After denying in-form Spurs a win on Wednesday, West Ham will fancy their chances of doing the same in against out-of-form Chelsea. Thomas Tuchel may use the Declan Rice Derby to hand debuts to the fruits of last week’s trolley-dash: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Denis Zakaria.

Newcastle and Crystal Palace head into their game stinging from respective late gutpunches midweek. If Eddie Howe is in the process of trying to transform a workmanlike side into an exciting one, then he can should look to Patrick Vieira for the blueprint. Vieira’s side not only feature the best counterattacker in the league in Wilfried Zaha but also, maybe, its most watchable player in Eberechi Eze – yet Newcastle now have a languidly sleek forward of their own in Alexander Isak.

Brentford and Leeds have both spent the opening month of the season trying and failing to find their level. Both have handed out tonkings to heavyweights; both have come up short against the mid-rankers. Will today’s meeting enlighten us about whether these sides are any good? Almost certainly not.

No team has scored fewer goals this season than Wolves, and only one has conceded fewer. Will this miserly trend be upended in meeting of two sides spearheaded by Raúl Jiménez and Che Adams? Or might we catch a glimpse of Sasa Kalajdzic or Samuel Edozie? We’ll soon see.

And Nottingham Forest and Bournemouth are both fresh from taking almighty shellackings, and their combined scoreline from the last week would be a 17-1 defeat. Could this be the first football matches in history that both sides lose? Stay tuned to find out.

Plus we’ll bring you the latest from the Football League, and maybe even a bit of Europe. Get the kettle on.

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