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WICKET! Kuldeep run out (Buttler) 9 (India 229-9)Kuldeep misses, Butter’s underarm hits, and England will feel in control of this. Ahahahahaha!
50th over: India 229-8 (Bumrah 16, Kuldeep 9) Woakes has been excellent today and Bumrah muscles a pull to mid on; they run one. An off-side wide follows, then a cut for another single into the off side. This partnership has been decent, 20 off 19, then Bumrah forces to long on and they run one more. A swing and a miss gets rid of the penultimate delivery,
49th over: India 225-8 (Bumrah 14, Kuldeep 8) Ah, Wood returns at the other end and goes around to the lefty Kuldeep; a single to midwicket follows, then Bumrah adds one to point and the bowler slings down a leg-side wide. He then races back to his mark as if running away from the shame, his final four balls yielding a pair of ones, and he finishes with 1-46 off nine.
48th over: India 220-8 (Bumrah 12, Kuldeep 6) Buttler thanks Wood and turns to Woakes; Bumrah edges his first ball just wide of gully and they run one. A single and two twos follow, making it six off the over, and England will take that; even 250 will be a tough chase, but that looked at the bottom end of the range when Rohit and Rahul were batting.
“Australia are Black Sabbath,” reckons Ade Couper, “for years the best thing out there, still hanging on but nowhere near the force they once were….”
This could be any decent band really, but perhaps we need a “respected but not loved” addition to the description. Kraftwerk?
47th over: India 214-8 (Bumrah 7, Kuldeep 5) Kuldeep turns to square leg for one, Bumrah edges one of his own, and Willey strays straight, allowing Kuldeep to flourish him around the corner for four. Willey finishes with 3-45 and that’s a very fine performance from him. England will want to finish off well here, because three booming overs would put them under pressure they ought really to avoid.
“Carter Beats the Devil is one of the great reads,” agrees John Starbuck. “If you like that, you’ll probably also appreciate The Bear Went over the Mountain by William Kotzwinkel. It’s by no means in the same tradition, but very funny in its own way.”
Thanks, I shall investigate.
WICKET! Yadav c Woakes b Willey 49 (India 208-8)Full from Willey and Yadav flings hands at it, slicing high and straight to the cover-sweeper! Decent knock but with all the batters gone and 3.4 still to do, England are bang in charge of this.
46th over: India 208-7 (Yadav 49, Bumrah 6) And he does, flicking Wood’s first delivery over fine leg for six! He saw that one coming, moving towards off and not bothering to run; he timed that like Phil Collins times the drum fill in In the Air Tonight. A single follows, then Bumrah, on 0 after 12 balls, skitters legs out of the road, then cleanses a drive through mid on for four! The crowd love that so they do … but not as much as they love this! Bumrah swipes to long off, Moeen is underneath it and he never drops these … apart from now! He gets the ball in the top of his fingers, spills it, ands they run two! He looks mortified but England have fielded really well today, and if they maintain discipline will be chasing a target they’d have happily have shaken on at the start.
45th over: India 195-7 (Yadav 41, Bumrah 0) Willey replaces Rashid and he has two overs left, Wood three and Woakes three; my guess is he bowls out and Woakes is the one with an unconsumed allocation. What’s especially impressive about England’s work today is there’s been no period during which they lost control of the innings; they needed the breakthrough they got when Rahul gave his wicket away, but the threat was future scoring, rather than anything going on at the time. And they keep boot on throat, Yadav forcing to mid on for one, the only run off the over; surely he’s got to free arms now?
“Sri Lanka are King Crimson,” tweets Richard Woods. “Single-handedly invented a genre and then did no more than stick around while others moved it forward.”
44th over: India 194-7 (Yadav 41, Bumrah 0) Yadav cuts Wood – sounds harsh, but this is the world in which we live – and on the fence, Rashid dives really well to prevent the boundary as they run two. A wide and a single follow, the four dots, and I’m absolutely buzzing to discover how England mess this up. I reckon 54-0 to 226 all out.
“Please can you tell Kim that he’d need to be a bit more specific given the typical clientele at the Chapter in the late 70s,” responds Brian Withington, “but apologies if I gave him and his Gauloise a wide berth. Meanwhile can he recall the name of a fairly depressing French new wavish film (I know) with a fairly baffling denouement, featuring an alternative ending via a clock running backwards in a hall/swimming pool?”
All I’ve got is Rififi, which I know it isn’t – but for anyone who’s not seen it, I highly recommend taking the time.
43rd over: India 190-7 (Yadav 38, Bumrah 0) Yadav will be tempted to see off Rashid then see, but if it’s there to hit he’ll hit it, two cut to the point fence then four larruped over backward square for four via sweep. That’s a fine shot and a single follows, then a gorgeous googly which is far too good for Bumrah, who sees the ball zip through the gat but over the stumps. The great Adil Rashid finishes with 2-35 and this constant use of that prefix makes him sound like a magician, which makes me want to recommend Carter Beats the Devil – one of my all-time favourite novels.
42nd over: India 183-7 (Yadav 31, Bumrah 0) Bumrah will be expecting heat, so I wonder if Wood will go full at him. And he does, sort of; nothing short, but no toe-crusher either, just four dots to complete a wicket maiden.
“OK,” begins Dean Kinsella. “While I’m thoroughly on the side of the‘ Adil the Great’ epithet, we could could let the argument between you and Mr Begrudger be settled if Adil gets that last wicket we need today.”
Here comes his final over…
WICKET! Shami c Buttler b Wood 1 (England 183-7)They couldn’t, could they? Er, probably not, but this is very good from England and Wood returns, persuading Shami to edge behind. Whatever they’re chasing, it’s going to be manageable, and I for one can’t wait to enjoy the total expletive they make of it.
Mark Wood (left) celebrates after taking the wicket of Mohammed Shami (right). Photograph: Sajjad Hussain/AFP/Getty Images41st over: India 183-6 (Yadav 31, Shami 1) Are we still saying Rashid isn’t an England great? He has 2-28 off nine while India have to somehow lift themselves to a decent target with a bowler batting at one end. England have been excellent today – the bowlers have been solid, the outfielding has been superb and Buttler, after reading the pitch well, has husbanded his resources very wisely indeed.
OUT!The turn kept it just straight enough; it was clipping the top of leg, so umpire’s call, and India are in big trouble now. Relatively speaking.
INDIA REVIEW!Tis is going to be tight because, looking again, there was bounce and turn; this might be missing leg on height or width…
WICKET! Jadeja lbw b Rashid 8 (India 182-6)Might this be the crucial breakthrough! Jadeja pushes forward, is beaten by the turn, and this looks good! But was it too high?!
Adil Rashid appeals for the lbw of Ravi Jadeja. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images40th over: India 180-5 (Yadav 31, Jadeja 8) Moeen’s been going nicely so, although he’s now taking overs away from Wood or Woakes, he keeps going, and the batters will need to force things soon. But right at Moeen’s finishing another useful over, four singles from it, Yadav misses a reverse, Buttler misses too, and the ball rushes away for four byes.
“New Zealand are Kylie Minogue,” reckons John Starbuck. “Highly appreciated by many, several real bangers and a chequered history, through very little fault of their own. Pakistan are The Hollies: a few great, classic achievements, but a bit patchy.”
39th over: India 172-5 (Yadav 28, Jadeja 5) England send in a leg slip for Jadeja, enough to keep him thinking if nothing else. But the great Adil Rashid is into his spell now, a single flicked into the on side the only run from the over. If Egland can just get one more wicket, they’re into the bowlers and will fancy limiting India to 230 or so; other hand, a big over or two and this partnership can get them up to 270ish.
38th over: India 171-5 (Yadav 27, Jadeja 5) With the lefty Jadeja out there, Moeen continues, and India will want another hundred off these final 12 overs; a two and four singles get this latest partnership going.
“England are David Bowie,” reckons Tom Atkins. “At the forefront of things right at the beginning, lost their way from the mid 80s to the mid-late 00s but produced some fantastic work in the 2010s only for time and old age to catch up with them once again.”
If we ignore the social conscience, but his drum n bass album is a nice metaphor for the ODIs of the late 90s.
37th over: India 165-5 (Yadav 25, Jadeja 1) So the great Adil Rashid intervenes again, and that wicket might prove pivotal in the match. Jadeja gets away to deep square, and, with Shami in next, this is the partnership.
WICKET! Sharma c Livingstone b Rashid 87 (India 164-4)A fantastic knock, ended by a fantastic catch! Rohit, who’s batted with such patience and skill, feels he’s to go at one. But it’s a googly – he spots it, of course – except it sticks a bit and, when the ball soars, Livingstone runs in from cow, leaps with both legs bent at the knees, and slides under a tremendous grab. He’s hurt himself in the process, but given he’s up and about, I think he’ll be fine – it looked a serious injury or nothing kind of situation.
37th over: India 164-4 (Rohit 87, Yadav 25) Yup, here’s Rashid, his first four balls ceding just a single…
“Yesterday’s Pink Floyd chat got me thinking, as only the OBO can, about international cricket teams and their musical equivalents,” writes Simon McMahon. “If Australia are, say, Pink Floyd, or Radiohead, i.e., consistently excellent, critically acclaimed but not universally liked, then who are England? Would need to be someone who has had very high highs, but some pretty low lows too. Genesis, Bowie, or the Stones, perhaps? India are Taylor Swift, obvs.”
I think we’d need some lacking self-awareness in the mix too; Oasis?
36th over: India 163-4 (Rohit 87, Yadav 24) The red soil at either end is crumbly and, on the face of things, you’d fancy being an Indian spinner more than England batter this evening. But, as Nasser insists again, locals expect batting to get easier not harder – what we’ve seen through this innings suggests as much too – and, as I type, Yadav absolutely nails a sweep for four. In total, the over yields eight, but Moeen and Livingstone have now bowled 10 between them, so I’d expect to see Rashid return pretty soon.
35th over: India 155-4 (Rohit 85, Yadav 18) Buttler keeps Willey at it but when his first delivery is short, Yadav pulls it for four; if this over fails to yield a wicket, I fear Buttler may regret not saving his man for the death. Two twos follow, and this match will remain in the balance right until England are 3-2 off two.
34th over: India 145-4 (Rohit 85, Yadav 10) Moeen continues and this is a decent over, two singles off it and Rohit turning an attempted sweep into his pad.
“Could you ask the venerable Brian Withington if he remembers while at Chapter Arts in late 70s seeing a callow youth lurking in the lobby dressed as a punk but sporting a dodgy perm and ‘nonchalantly’ smoking a Gauloise? That would have been me,” confides Kim Thonger. Rick Smith, now a rock god as the keyboard half of Underworld, also would have been hanging around. Oh and my wife says how about Je Ne Regrette Rien as the Bazball theme tune/anthem? Perhaps Rick could adapt it for his forthcoming tour?”
Real nonchalants smoked Dunhill International, the flat pack perfect for the inside pocket of a school blazer. Underworld, though, what a band; I know it’s far from the best work, but I’m not sure any riff evokes a time as completely as the intro to Born Slippy. Feel free to send in other examples.
33rd over: India 145-4 (Rohit 84, Yadav 9) Willey continues and I’d expect circumspection from the batters here – they won’t feel free to attack him as this stage, with a par total a fair way away. The ground is pretty full now, lots of its members dressed in India blue, and I’m wondering if we should insist teams have an away strip to see if we can get away from the relatively samey nature of the gear these days. Four singles from the over and Willey, who has 2-30 off seven, only has three to go. Surely it’s time for Rashid’s return?
32nd over: India 141-4 (Rohit 82, Yadav 7) Nope, it’s Moeen, and he’s milked for four singles. With Rohit grooved and Jadeja to come, Buttler can’t let this drift – he won’t want to rely on Moeen or Livingstone later on, but given the length of India’s tail, he can worry about that later. For now, he needs to press home the advantage.
31st over: India 137-4 (Rohit 80, Yadav 5) The question now is whether Buttler keeps Willey going or accepts the breakthrough he was seeking, then reverts to the spinners. Meantime, Yadav chips between bowler and mid on, ball running away for four, and in comms, Morgan, who knows a thing or two about husbanding resources, reckons England should go for it, trying Wood or Rashid from the other end. This is a really interesting tussle, already making a mockery of the idea that 50-over cricket is expendable; it gives you ebbs, nuance and a story you just don’t get with T20.
WICKET! Rahul c Bairstow c Willey 39 (India 131-4)It’s not Rohit but it’s a start. Rahul tries to leather back over the bowler’s head but ends up cross-batting high to mid on, Bairstow pouching easily enough. That was, though, a very useful knock and partnership.
31st over: India 131-3 (Rohit 79, Rahul 39) Yup, Buttler summons Willey; hold tight, this might just be the match here.
30th over: India 131-3 (Rohit 79, Rahul 39) England know they were never likely to flatten India, and that there’d be a time in the game during which they were not in control. Well, this is it now, and after a pair of singles, Rohit opens shoulders to stroke inside-out over wide mid-off for four. He is in such control of his game, mind and body in perfect synchronicity, and if England don’t get him out soon, he’ll define this match
29th over: India 125-3 (Rohit 74, Rahul 38) Buttler keeps Livingstone going and when Rohit advances, the bowler drops shot, finding some turn too and forcing a defensive shot … so Rohit comes down to the next ball too, a bit stride, hands in front, and the ball flying over midwicket for four. A two and a single follow, making it seven off the over, and I’d be very reticent to try and finagle another out Livingstone if it was up to me, because it feels like a monster is imminent. The partnership is 85 off 103.
28th over: India 118-3 (Rohit 67, Rahul 38) Good from Moeen, bowling wicket to wicket; after three dots, Rahul cuts him away for one, then a further single follows, and it feels like we’re on a rickety old rollercoaster, struggling up a slope. This match is ready to explode, but how?
27th over: India 116-3 (Rohit 66, Rahul 37) Buttler sticks with Livingstone – I don’t know if this will be it, but I’m almost certain that at some point, he’ll be kept on an over too long. And after the first three balls yield a two and a one, Rohit unfurls the reverse sweep, tickling fine and under the dive of Wood short third for four, then a cut has Wood flinging himself the other way, equally fruitlessly. Four more, and India have the momentum now. Dare Buttler revert to Willey or Woakes?
26th over: India 105-3 (Rohit 58, Rahul 34) Moeen replaces Wood and I wonder if the batters will go at him because they need to catch up somehow. Two singles come from the first three balls of the over, then two to third man and one to mid on complete the scoring from the over.
25th over: India 100-3 (Rohit 57, Rahul 30) Hand over eyes from Livingstone when he finds drift and turn away – that’s lovely stuff – except Rahul edges for four, then clambers forward and pulls four more! Lovely work, the partnership now 57 off 76, and a cut to the point fence forces Malan into another diving stop as the batters run two. The scoreboard is ticking now, the hundred coming up by way of single to cover, and England need somethingl the last two overs have yielded 19 runs.
24th over: India 89-3 (Rohit 57, Rahul 19) I say that, on reflection, because a mate of mine once read that Great Gig in the Sky was the world’s most popular song to, er, romance to, so would regularly leap up to put it on at the crucial moment; you can imagine how that went down. Anyroad, back in the middle, Rohit muscles two over mid on – that’s his fifty – and he celebrates in the grand style, picking up Wood so quickly when he strays straight and flicking over deep backward square for six. What a player he is, and England will be hearing John Williams; Wood retorts with a bumper, which Rohit aways away from away from which Rohit sways.
Fans celebrate India’s captain Rohit Sharma’s fifty. Photograph: Aijaz Rahi/AP23rd over: India 81-3 (Rohit 49, Rahul 19) it’s not Moeen, rather Livingstone, who’ll be desperate to make an impact after a disappointing tournament. He bowls leg spin to the right-handed Rahul and when Willey, at cover, dives to hold a bump ball, the fielder wears one on the finger and looks in pain. He doesn’t call for treatment, though, and another dot follows completing a maiden.
“My first exposure to Shine On You Crazy Diamond was circa 1977 sitting unsuspecting in the Chapter arts centre cinema in Cardiff, waiting patiently for Chabrol’s Le Boucher to start,” recalls Brian Withington. The combination of that ethereal introduction, played on a decent surround sound system, and my lovely companion for the evening made for an unforgettable experience. She’s hung around too …”
I fear we need a post-watershed OBO to appreciate the full weight of this anecdote.
22nd over: India 81-3 (Rohit 49, Rahul 19) Wood hasn’t threatened much, but he’s been miserly, ceding three singles off his fourth over, and I wonder what Rohit’s plan is. India will want about 270, I reckon, and I guess we’re in the middle of a silent stand-off; do England try Moeen now, before the sprint is on, or try and get another wicket or two?
“Yes, there is a case for Rashid to be considered England’s greatest one-day leg-spinner,” writes Andy Flintoff, “but then that’s almost like saying he’s first in a field of one, as there aren’t many others (Salisbury? Borthwick? Livingstone?). It is a shame he couldn’t quite do it in Test cricket, because he’s an obviously talented player.”
Not just leg-spinner, spinner. Of course he’s not as good as Swann was, but at the limited overs stuff? He’s better than everyone, and is the top of the list on his own merits, not because all the others were rubbish.
21st over: India 78-3 (Rohit 48, Rahul 17) I can’t believe Rohit will just let Rashid bowl, and after Rahul turns one to square leg, the India skipper reaches around and in front his pad, pulling four to square leg. Those are the only runs off the over and we’ve reached, if not a lull, a juncture point as we wait for our next big staging post: will England nab another wicket or can India turn this into a match-defining partnership?
20th over: India 73-3 (Rohit 44, Rahul 16) Rahul drives Wood hard, earning one to deep backward point, then Rohit twizzles another to deep square. At some point, he’s going to go at someone, but he’ll be conscious that, after Yadav and Jadeja, his side don’t have much batting so he needs to stick around. In comms, Nasser points out that Wood is bowling from wide because he doesn’t like crumbly footholds, but another single means three off the over, and he’ll take that.
“Just two other things on subject of Adge,” returns Kim Thonger. “The Somerset pronunciation of Joie De Vivre, is of course Joyder Veever, and might have been a perfect title for a Bazball anthem penned by Cutler. And in case anyone cares to know more about Adge, my school chum Kelvin MacDonald Fraser, now a respected solicitor in Weston-super-Mare, is the worlds leading authority on the man, and also has a side gig as the leader of the (peace-loving) Somerset separatist movement, going by the nom de plume Al Cyder.”
What are we calling this new land?
19th over: India 70-3 (Rohit 43, Rahul 14) A better over for England yielding three singles into the deep, and Buttler will be thinking about how best to husband his resources here. He needs some overs out of Livingstone and Moeen; might soon, while these two rebuild, be the best time for that? Or does he hope for another wicket first?
“In case any followers of our cult need an international listening link, “offers Ian Copestake, this works lovely.”
18th over: India 67-3 (Rohit 42, Rahul 12) Wood beats Rahul outside off then gets edged for four. A single to square leg follows and India are upping the rate a little here; this partnership is now 27 off 36 and England could use a breakthrough before it gathers further momentum.
17th over: India 62-3 (Rohit 42, Rahul 7) Back we go, Rahul easing Rahid to cover for one … then Rohit stands up on tippy-toes, waiting for the ball before caressing it through extra for four. Two singles follow.
“I know that English cricket is prone to introspection and hyperbole,” says Sam McCormack, but seriously, calling Adil Rashid a great of the game is just nonsense. His stats show that he’s been fine.”
I didn’t call him a great of the game, I called him a great of English cricket, and I don’t really see how that’s even a debate. He’s a double world champion having played 131 ODIs and 99 T20Is; without him, his country win neither pot.
16th over: India 55-3 (Rohit 37, Rahul 5) Ahahahaha! Wood finishes his over with a wide one and Rohit unloads the suitcase, clobbering four through backward point! That’s drinks, at the end of a seriously enjoyable first passage.
NOT OUT!The ball wasn’t just avoiding leg, it was missing it by a way!
INDIA REVIEW!I think this is out because Rohit didn’t get very far down, but it did hit him in front of leg…
WICKET! Sharma lbw b Wood 33 (India 51-4)Now then! Rohit presses forward but can’t get bat around pad; was the ball going down?
16th over: India 51-3 (Rohit 33, Rahul 4) Wood into the attack at the end of a fantastic spell from Woakes. Rahul takes one to cover, then wears one that cramps him on the pads; in comms, Nasser notes this isn’t a day for pace because the batters will be hoping for it … but what’s this?
“This game reminds me of an old school one-day international from about 1990,” writes Rob Durbin. “Half-expecting Eddie Hemmings come on from one to end keep it tight whilst they bring on Derek Pringle from the other. Also, if it was 1990 I’d be 15 and it would be perfectly OK to sit around all day, watching the cricket rather than going out and doing stuff like the adult I am. Sometimes I think childhood was better!”
It’s always OK.
15th over: India 50-3 (Rohit 33, Rahul 4) Another good and quick Rashid over, a single from it – to Rahul, to cover.
“There was a lot of talk during yesterday’s game about Pink Floyd,” writes Kim Thonger. “Their LPs were quite good but nothing in their repertoire can really compete with Adge Cutler & The Wurzels ‘All Over Mendip’ live at The Webbington. I have never understood why they have not headlined Glastonbury or won the Mercury Prize … and Adge himself, regardless of his actual cricketing ability, would I think have instinctively understood the core philosophy of Bazball and written a perfect theme tune for this era.”
I actually played me nine-year-old Shine On You Crazy Diamond part one the other day – not many songs have blown my mind in the way that did. Naturally, my nipper wasn’t having it then, as the solo kicked in at the end, my wife came down and turned the stereo off because Ocado had arrived and I’d not heard the door. All in all, an extremely edifying episode.
14th over: India 49-3 (Rohit 33, Rahul 3) Rahul gets down the other end at the first time of asking, nudging to leg for one. I’m sure the prospect of six balls at him, bowling an English-style Test-length, helped persuade Buttler not to make a change, but that’s soon out of the window then, after two further singles, Rohit’s seen enough, tippy-toeing down the track to muscle a one-bounce four down the ground and finish Woakes’ over, probably spell, with a boundary. India need that.
“Although England’s failure is more extreme than I would have expected,” says David Murray, “|I think there has been some serious overhyping of their abilities going into this tournament. Yes, they have some players who can bat very well at times. But so do all the other top teams. You say, ‘all it takes is one knock from one of their many ludicrous matchwinners’ – but that also requires the opposition matchwinners not produce an equal or better knock. Did we really think even before the tournament that Bairstow, Butler, Brook etc were better players than Rohit, Gill, Kohli etc or Warner, Head, Smith, Maxwell etc. or the South Africans, or New Zealand, or even Pakistan’s batters. I’m not sure I would have picked a single England player in a world XI even before the tournament started. There is very little between the top players other than their ability to produce the goods on the day and with greater or lesser consistency. Every time England lost a warm-up match we’d see Butler or whoever saying that they failed to ‘execute their skills’! But being able to execute your skills consistently is what it’s all about – anyone can hit a six now and then, look at how often bowlers do it. England have never really been consistent winners and need to realise that being able to produce the occasional remarkable innings does not make you world beaters. I can’t help thinking they believed their own hype far too readily.”
But they literally are world beaters?
13th over: India 42-3 (Rohit 28, Rahul 1) India haven’t been tested much recently, so this match will be good for them even if they lose it. But in the meantime they need to rebuild even if this innings has Rohit ton and Jadeja violence written all over it. Two singles from this latest Rashid over, and Woakes will indeed go again; I get it, but I’d have liked Wood against Rahul while he’s settling in.
12th over: India 40-3 (Rohit 27, Rahul 0) Woakes finds his Test-match line and length to greet Rahul, and now has 2-16 off six. Does Buttler keep him going given his foot is on the throat?
WICKET! Iyer c Wood b Woakes 4 (India 40-3)Pressure tells! Woakes has been all over Iyer this over and he induces a top-edged pull that soars into the air before being snaffled by Wood! Are England back?
Mark Wood clutches the ball and Shreyas Iyer is heading back to the pavilion. Photograph: Andrew Boyers/Reuters