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Dinner: England 277-548th over: England 277-5 (Brook 79, Foakes 27) And with a couple of singles off Michael Bracewell, it’s time for the players to retire for some supper/dinner/tea. A slow over rate but 145 runs scored in the session at the fair old lick of 5.8, with three wickets lost – Pope, Root and Stokes. Harry Brook doing Harry Brook things, and Ben Foakes cameoing stylishly. Time for a quick brew – I think, though I’m not sure, that this is a 40 minute break.
47th over: England 277-5 (Brook 78, Foakes 26) The dog, who reeks of stagnant puddle water, rubs up next to my dressing gown and sighs. And that’s the first maiden of the day! Tim Southee’s figures now read 13-1-71-2.
46th over: England 277-5 (Brook 78, Foakes 26) Just to say I think my email address is wrong in the furniture, so apologies if I haven’t printed your missive. I will try to change it, but in the meantime do write to me at [email protected]. Seven off Michael Bracewell’s over.
45th over: England 270-5 (Brook 77, Foakes 20) Southee, who always has the look of a celluoid black and war hero now tinted into glorious technicolour, has the misfortune to bowl to Harry Brook His first burns a path across the grass down the ground for four. The next is driven up, up and away for six. Foakess squeaks a third boundary, which flie just short of backward point. Run-tastic!
44th over: England 254-5-5 (Brook 66, Foakes 15 ) The 250 comes up at a cantering run rate of 5.7. Kuggelejn looks tired as Foakes top edges him to the rope and Brook gobbles up a wide one and burps four.
43rd over: England 244-5-5 (Brook 61, Foakes 10 ) Southee brings himself on and immediately looks classy. He does however bleed 12 runs: three through the covers by Foakes, a stand and deliver bash from Brook and then an unlucky inside edge which nips back off the seam, onto the shoulder of Brook’s back and down to the rope.
42nd over: England 232-5-5 (Brook 52, Foakes 7 ) Kuggelejn bustles in, with angular arms, and hits Foakes high – too high on the pad. The next ball is pushed, beautifully, through cover point for four. All the moving parts are in just the right place.
“Kia ora, Tanya.” Hello Iain McKane!
”Been in NZ since the day before the cyclone struck. Hoping friends in Napier are safe and well and that we can see them next week. No contact possible so far. Waiting for the bus to take us to Hobbiton; due at the Test on Sunday.”
Ah, wishing you a peaceful journey, and hope your friends are waiting for you the other side.
41st over: England 225-5 (Brook 51, Foakes 1 ) The skies are darkening and the floodlights are on as Tickner runs in, small but furry caterpillar above his top lip. Five dots, till Foakes spoils what would have been the first maiden of the day by pulling a bouncer for a single.
Fifty for Harry Brook!40th over: England 218-5 (Brook 51, Foakes 1 ) And Brook leans back and dollies Kuggeleijn behind to the boundary, staying to admire his handiwork. In five Tests he now has three centuries and two fifties in his cupboard under the stairs.
39th over: England 209-5 (Brook 45, Foakes 0 ) The change of batter doesn’t bring any respite to the New Zealand bowling figures as Harry Brook muscles two consecutive fours off Tickner.
38th over: England 209-5 (Brook 37, Foakes 0 ) Thanks Rob as ever, and sweet dreams. It may be dark and cold in the UK – though there is a bit of gentle tweeting outside my window – but BazBall is alive and flexing as Stokes stands and slaps the florescent pink ball for four before getting out to a hasty attempted pull.
WICKET! Stokes c Latham b Kuggeleijn (England 209-5)A cramped, mid-air, ugly swipe at a rising ball to midwicket where Latham clings on – and controversial pick Kuggeleijn has his first Test wicket.
37th over: England 204-4 (Brook 36, Stokes 15) There are some malevolent clouds in the background, and the floodlights have been switched on as a result. Brook tries to drop his hands on a short ball from Tickner that follows him, hits the top edge and loops high over the slips for four. A single takes him to 36 from 34 balls, and England to 200 from 36.5 overs.
Stokes charges the last ball of the over and slices a cut over the slips for four, prompting to Tickner to shake his hand in a combination of disgust and confusion.
Time for me to hand over to the great Tanya Aldred for the rest of the day’s play; you can email her or tweet @tjaldred. Good morning!
36th over: England 195-4 (Brook 31, Stokes 11) Scott Kuggeleijn replaces Neil Wagner, who has unprecedented figures of 11-0-70-1. Stokes charges his second ball and misses a slightly absent-minded dab outside off stump. Later in the over he connects with a similar stroke but edges it this far short of slip.
35th over: England 192-4 (Brook 30, Stokes 10) Brook blazes a back cut for four off Tickner, then repeats the stroke later in the over to move to 30 from 28 balls. He must so intimidating to bowl to, because when he’s in the mood he can pretty much belt any ball to any part of the ground. That’s drinks.
“I don’t often email, but I had half a thought that you were doing the MBM for Liverpool’s Big Cup win in 2005,” says Matthew Williams. “Then I couldn’t remember whether I had some random comment acknowledged in the Olympiakos game or the final… or if it was even you… so I deleted my half-written comment and instead: ‘Whatever. hope you’re well’ ensued.”
Haha. I was sub-editing at the Times that night, having a quiet breakdown. It was Barry who did the MBM. I use ‘hope you’re well’ all the time too. But there has to be a better, or at least more sincere-sounding, alternative.
34th over: England 184-4 (Brook 22, Stokes 10) Brook drives Wagner over mid-off for four more, though he didn’t quite get hold of it. England have definitely had to manufacture more attacking strokes as the pink ball has softened which comes with a degree of risk. Not that Brook cares about risk. I’m not entirely sure he even understands the concept. He has 22 from 22 balls, Stokes 10 from 19.
33rd over: England 175-4 (Brook 15, Stokes 8) Blair Tickner replaces Southee, who bowled a good spell of 4-0-11-1. Stokes gets his first boundary, fiddling the ball deliberately to the third man boundary. Despite losing four wickets, England are still scoring at a healthy 5.3 runs per over.
32nd over: England 171-4 (Brook 15, Stokes 4) Blimey. After five dot balls, and the tantalising prospect of the first maiden of the innings, Brook smears a full delivery through mid-off for four. That was a shot of pure contempt.
In other news, it’s been quite a start to the Ranji Trophy final in India: Bengal are 17 for four against Saurashtra.
31st over: England 166-4 (Brook 11, Stokes 4) Stokes continues to bat sensibly against Southee in particular. Root, incidentally, now has 185 runs at 18.50 in his last seven Tests. Nothing to worry about yet, but maybe he’s having a slight identity crisis.
“It may be a little premature (and at the risk of being a mite Bazunworthy),” says Brian Withington, “but if I were your cat (19th over) I might be tempted to take the precaution of checking my exit routes …”
If he could be bothered, I’m sure he’d be doing just that.
30th over: England 165-4 (Brook 10, Stokes 3) Brook top-edges a cut stroke over the slips for four. This is a better spell from Wagner, who clearly fancies his chances of boring Brook out; he’s angling everything across him, often well wide of off stump.
“The ghost of Wilfred Rhodes just spoke to me,” says Max Bonnell. “He has a message for Joe Root. It goes: ‘It’s a five-day game, lad.’”
And that’s from a man who used to play in Timeless Tests.
29th over: England 161-4 (Brook 6, Stokes 3) A watchful start from Stokes, although he’s only faced seven balls so let’s not hail Bazball 2.0: The New Maturity just yet.
“You speculated that the freaker was probably tackled,” says Adam Roberts. “Stephan Shemilt on BBC: ‘While Joe Root sorted out his eye, a spectator in only his underpants tried his luck with a pitch invasion. Awful idea. In a country full of rugby players he took a monster hit from a security guard. An absolute bone-rattler. I don’t think anyone else will think about going on to the pitch.’”
28th over: England 159-4 (Brook 6, Stokes 1) Harry Brook reaches for a wide, full delivery from Wagner and slams it to the cover boundary. It was in the air for a while but landed short and wide of the fielder in the covers.
Incidentally, that was a terrific catch from Mitchell to dismiss Root. He was on the move, anticipating the reverse scoop, and then swooped to his right to grab it with both hands.
“Today is Joe Root’s 64th Test as ‘not captain’, equalling his count as captain,” says Matthew Williams. “In both sets of 64, he has 14 tons and almost the same conversion rate. His average, however, is some six points higher as ‘not captain’. Whatever. Hope you’re well.”
When did we start using that phrase, ‘hope you’re well’? Even when it’s sincere, it sounds insincere.
WICKET! England 154-4 (Root c Mitchell b Wagner 14)Joe Root dies by the reverse scoop. He tried to lift Wagner over the slips for the second time in as many overs, but this time it was slightly wider and all Root could do was drag it into the hands of the diving Daryl Mitchell. All of a sudden England. who have a long tail, are in a peedie bit of a bother.
27th over: England 154-3 (Root 14, Brook 2) “Approaching 11 o’clock here in Cayman,” says Adam Roerts. “Is anyone else finding the bright pink ball in full sun disconcerting? Looks like a plastic bat and ball set for beach cricket.”
Ha, so it does. But are you saying its gimmicky?
WICKET! England 152-3 (Pope c Latham b Southee 42)Ollie Pope punches his bat in frustration after being suckered into a loose stroke by Tim Southee. He tried to drive a widish tempter and edged low to second slip, where Tom Latham took a good catch.
26th over: England 148-2 (Pope 38, Root 14) Wagner switches around the wicket to Pope, woh gives him the charge and hacks a boundary through midwicket. It looks like the pink ball is going soft – aren’t we all – so don’t be surprised if England manufacture a few more strokes like that.
25th over: England 140-2 (Pope 32, Root 13) The captain Southee returns to the attack after tea, and comes within a whisker of bowling the first maiden of the innings. After five dot balls, Pope muscles a single into the leg side.
24th over: England 139-2 (Pope 31, Root 13) Yeah, Root’s eyes are okay now. Two balls after that longish break in play, he reverse-scoops Wagner over the slips for four.
There’s something in Root’s eye that the physio is struggling to clear. The commentator Stephen Fleming said it was a problem with a contact lens but now he’s not so sure, so maybe Root doesn’t wear them.
Now there’s a freaker on the field, and the lusty roar from the crowd suggests said freaker has just been apprehended in a comic manner.
23.1 overs: England 135-2 (Pope 31, Root 9) New Zealand have only one slip in place, a reflection of both the pitch and the length that Wagner is likely to bowl. There’s a break in play after one ball because of a problem with one of Root’s contact lenses. I didn’t know he wore them.
The players are back out on the field, and Neil Wagner is going to continue.
“When you say that ‘Gilbert Jessop’s record for the fastest Test hundred (76 balls) is again in jeopardy’, you should probably point out that you mean for England,” says Max Bonnell. “The holder of the actual record for the fastest Test hundred (54 balls) is, of course, attending the game today in his capacity as England coach.”
There’s no probably about it.
Teatime reading
A reminder that, in a day/night Test, the first interval is only 20 minutes. I’m reminding myself mainly, as I’d completely forgotten and had been planning to grab 40 winks.
“An incredible knock from Duckett,” says Dean Kinsella. “Completely fearless. Amazing run rate. But strangely, never really got his timing going consistently. Although considering the state of English opening following Cook’s retirement – we’ll absolutely take that.”
I’ll say. We have no idea how blessed we are right now. This is a golden age of English cricket. Might even be the golden age.
Tea23rd over: England 134-2 (Pope 30, Root 9) The offspinner Michael Bracewell comes on to bowl the last over before lunch. He’ll be glad that Jonny Bairstow, who butchered him in England last summer, isn’t playing in this series.
There’s a bit of turn and bounce, though it’s pretty slow, and Root helps himself to a pair of twos. That’s the end of a typically cagey opening session: 134 runs, two wickets, run-rate 5.83.
The star was Ben Duckett, who made scoring 84 off 68 balls with 14 fours look like the most obvious thing in the world.
22nd over: England 129-2 (Pope 30, Root 5) Root gets off the mark with a pristine cover drive for four. Wagner bowls another no-ball, then falls over again, then rams a bouncer miles down the leg side. He’s really struggling, and figures of 5-0-35-0 are not unjust.
“Whoops,” says Scott Oliver of Duckett’s dismissal. “Didn’t get into it, did he? Was maybe trying to ‘sit off’ it and slap it square. Looks like he might have got a bit bored. Lost his shape three balls out of four. Meh.”
You’re only as good as your last slap to cover.
21st over: England 124-2 (Pope 30, Root 0) A stroke of luck for Pope, who tries to turn Tickner to leg and gets a leading edge over the slips for four. After a nervous start, including one over that went for 17, Tickner is settling into his work.
20th over: England 120-2 (Pope 26, Root 0) Joe Root has had a quiet spell, with only one fifty in the last two Test series, and England would love him to hit form before the Ashes. I think they have only one more Test, against Ireland, before they play Australia.
The last time England won the Ashes, in 2015, was largely because of Root’s memorable, tone-setting 134 on the opening day of the series.
19th over: England 117-2 (Pope 23, Root 0) This is only the second time in the Bazball era that England have been put into the bat. The first was against South Africa at Lord’s, when they were skittled in 45 overs and lost by an innings. If they are bowled out in 45 overs today, I’ll eat my cat.
“I’m going through a bout of severe insomnia at the moment,” says Tom King, “and I’m not sure England are really helping. Very inconsiderate. Anyway, I’m struck by just how… old school everything except Duckett and Pope is looking and even sounding.
“The TV commentators (inc Gower) are talking about bowling dry, building pressure, just trying to bowl a maiden, not realising that the skills these players have include not allowing dot balls to happen.
“England are making armchair captaincy a lot more fun than it was under Root – but it’s mostly trying to find answers for the other team now. What is this?”
It’s Bazball, and it’s the reason to cut your hair short and trim your fingernails. (Sorry about the insomnia by the way; I’ve never experienced it but it sounds so grim. I heard an interesting podcast about it a couple of years ago – the guy hosting suffered with serious insomnia for years until he tried Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Might be worth a listen.)
WICKET! England 117-2 (Duckett c Bracewell b Tickner 84)Gilbert Jessop’s record is no longer in jeopardy. Ben Duckett has driven straight to cover to give Blair Tickner his first Test wicket. It’s the end of a quietly thrilling innings: 84 from 68 balls with 14 fours.
18th over: England 115-1 (Duckett 83, Pope 22) Neil Wagner, who bowled two overs for 19 with the new ball (and castled Zak Crawley with a no-ball), returns to the attack in a more familiar role. But he has no rhythm at the moment, and two or three deliveries to Duckett are speared down the leg side.
Duckett has 83 from 64 deliveries, so Gilbert Jessop’s record for the fastest Test hundred (76 balls) is again in jeopardy.
17th over: England 108-1 (Duckett 77, Pope 21) Mount Maunganui has a reputation for being flat and this is no exception. The local commentators think it’s time for Neil Wagner to try a bit of rough stuff and settle into one of his never-ending spells.
16th over: England 106-1 (Duckett 76, Pope 20) Kuggeleijn drops a fraction short – if that – and Duckett slugs a pull through midwicket for four. That brings up England’s hundred at more than a run a ball, and Duckett pulls the next ball to the fence to move to 76 from 58 balls. This is… what is this?
15th over: England 95-1 (Duckett 67, Pope 19) Duckett back cuts Tickner wristily for four, another terrific stroke. Devon Conway charges round the boundary but then seems to dive over the ball.
“Duckett’s compactness and weight transference is really decent (caveat: it might be more challenging for him in Perth or Jo’burg),” writes Scott Oliver, who knows more about these things than most. “But the most impressive shot was a ball slanted across him that he steered away for two or three through gully, which shows he has real ‘feel’ and the ability to make last-nanosecond adjustments (unlike the Harry Hardhands openers Zak, Lees, Sibley, Burns to an extent). Looks good.”
Bounce feels like the biggest concern, doesn’t it, especially with Pat Cummins and Josh Hazlewood to come this summer.