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Tory MPs Indulge In A Mawkish Farewell For Their Poundshop Arnie | John Crace

‘Mission largely accomplished … For now,” said Boris Johnson, winding up his final prime minister’s questions with a delusional requiem for his faded glamour. “Hasta la vista, baby.” Yet even in his going, The Pastiche Terminator left open the possibility of his return. He cannot survive without the spotlight. There is no substance to him. Just a carapace of molten neediness that feeds on attention. No matter of what kind. Better to be despised than to be forgotten or ignored. He’d torn the Tories apart once. He’d happily do it all over again.

Only Theresa May remained stony faced, refusing to clap. She alone has some integrity. The rest of the Tory benches stood as one to cheer The Convict out of the chamber. Andrea Jenkyns was in tears. Partly for her career – let’s face it, no one in their right mind is going to make her a junior minister for 10 minutes again – but mainly for a man who would betray her in a heartbeat.

It was bonkers. The same Tory MPs who had spent months summoning up the self-worth to remove a prime minister who had done little, lied a lot and was totally unfit for office, now indulged themselves in a mawkish farewell. As if they were seeing off a three-term leader with a long record of achievement. Not a lazy poundshop Arnie who squandered an 80-seat majority in a midden of sleaze, corruption and law breaking.

Though, perhaps, it was a fitting send-off after all. A premiership forged in hypocrisy and deceit ending as it began. The only applause on offer the hypocritical cheers of those who had finished him off. Only in the Tory party do you find that level of good-mannered treachery and deceit. There are many on the government benches dreading the prospect of further interventions from The Convict. Not least the leadership contenders.

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